So, you’re maybe a 30 or 40 something Single Sikh and you and your parents are slightly stressed at the fact that you’re still single. That is only natural, but as the title suggests, marrying later is better than marrying wrong. According to the Office for National Statistics, there were just under 110,000 divorces in England and Wales in 2019 and I’m certain that after the lockdowns in 2020, that number will only increase. There’s nothing quite like a pandemic to make you realise you married the wrong one.
Societies Perception of Marriage
Many Sikh people in the UK will have a similar perception on post school life in that you go to university, gain a degree, get a job / start a business and soon after you’ll get married and go on to start a family.
Peer pressure can be a great motivator and many parents will sign their single sons and daughters up with Gurdwara matrimonial services in an effort to get them married. However, rushing into something like marriage when you’re not ready to settle down can also have dire consequences, especially when you marry someone that is incompatible. Whilst your parents, uncles and aunties might rejoice that you’re ‘settled’, it will be you that has to spend time with someone that makes you feel alienated, uncomfortable, and probably full of regret. That’s not how you want to spend your life.
Find the One Not just Anyone
This does not mean that you hold out for someone that ticks every box but do find someone who ticks enough boxes to make you happy and confident in your future together. If you are holding out for the perfect person, you are going to be disappointed (the perfect person does not exist), no matter how amazing someone sounds on their Sikh Matrimony profile!
A word to the wise, whilst dating do not expect zero disagreements. A strong relationship is not a relationship without healthy arguments. This means that when you do get into arguments with each other, you aim to get to the cause of the issue itself and you do not attack the other person for who they are.
Getting Married for the Right Reasons
Do not rush into marriage for convenience (or citizenship), get married because there is a strong friendship in place and the other person shares the same interests, you have similar world views and visions for the future.
Keep the faith, continue the search and you will find the one and have your Sikh Shaadi – Waheguru Ji
One Day someone will walk in to your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else
Main photo credit: The Wedding Filmmakers Ltd
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